Monday, November 23, 2009

Sekurity Report: November 2009 PawPawty

The November 2009 PawPawty was held on November 21 and 22, and it celebrated the wedding of @Poppy_Dog and @Hanseebundee. Wedding presents were donated to the Sunny Harbour Cat and Kitten Rescue. Wedding guests and PawPawtiers donated a total of $1,302! Click here for more details on the wedding and photos of the happy couple.

Sergeant Shawnee Shep again supplied the super-cool Sekurity Team badges. With the wedding theme, the Sekurity Team wore their dress uniforms.

The Sekurity Team for the November 2009 PawPawty included:

Captain Snickers

Sergeant Shawnee Shep

Dokumentation Officer Lexi-Lou

Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo
Officer Morris

Officer Cheshire Kitten

Cadets Frosty and Dew

Cadet Buddy

Underkover Sekrit Informant Fergus

Official Sekurity Report

1:54 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee Shep reports for sekurity dooty, covering for Captain Snickers who is stuck in traffic.
2:00 p.m.The PawPawty begins with @FrugalDougal giving tributes to anipals who have gone over the Rainbow Bridge, then leading a #pawcircle for anipals who are sicky.
2:28 p.m.Captain Snickers reports for sekurity dooty.
Handoff Report:
All is fine. Nothing out of the ordinary.
2:32 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee signs off sekurity dooty.
2:49 p.m.Captain Snickers reports that all is well at the PawPawty. Very, very busy, but no troubles yet.
2:57 p.m.Report comes in from Undercover Sekrit Informant Fergus that some raccoons dressed as lawyers stole six bottles of PawPawty booze.
3:27 p.m.Captain Snickers reports that the formal wear must have all anipals on their best behavior.
3:35 p.m.@IamZorro streaks through PawPawty wearing only a bow tie (
3:48 p.m.Captain Snickers investigates some possible tail-pulling by @BigBoyBosco. No charges are filed by @HankTheDoggy.
3:52 p.m.Sekurity Alert: everyone remember to check your followers for spammers and bots during or after the PawPawty and block them all.
4:00 p.m.Cadet Buddy reports for sekurity dooty.
Handoff Report:
All has been quiet. One small tail-pulling incident and one missed streaker. Oh, and thief lawyers. Streaking is o.k. by anipals (we're always naked anyway!)
4:17 p.m.Cadet Buddy reports that he's keeping an eye on @HankTheDoggy.
4:23 p.m.Cadet Buddy reports that sekurity is kinda slow.
4:33 p.m.Cadet Buddy reports: "@BigBoyBosco Hmmmm @mattiedog @HankTheDoggy...... bone flask huh? and bacon whiskey im keepin an eye on you guys"
4:37 p.m.Reports come in of attempted wedgie plan directed at Cadet Buddy. Incident avoided after sekurity alert stating PawPawty attendees should not give sekurity cadets wedgies.
5:09 p.m.Cadet Buddy reports that sekurity is quiet again.
5:59 p.m.Report comes in that @madlabm ate everyone on the menu and might explode! Cadet Buddy goes to assist.
5:59 p.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten reports for sekurity dooty.
Handoff Report:
@madlabm seems o.k. for now, but you might wanna watch her. And earlier @HankTheDoggywas acting up so you might wanna watch him, too.
6:00 p.m.Cadet Buddy signs off sekurity dooty.
6:54 p.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten reports that everyone is having a good time and staying safe.
7:15 p.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten investigates a report of @ButtersSquirrel choking on a cracker. Thankfully, Mr. Squirrel is fine. Officer Cheshire Kitten reminds Mr. Squirrel to eat carefully.
7:53 p.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten gives Handoff Report to Cadet Buddy as the Officer needs to assist a human in freezer defrosting.
Handoff Report:
Everybody is behaving really well. Keep an eye on the hooch kegs that @PierreThePoodle has at the bar.
@ButtersSquirrel almost choked on a cracker, but that turned out OK, too.
I watched over Amelia for @Goldenmama. She's underage and was attending her first PawPawty. She behaved well.
7:59 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee Shep reports for sekurity dooty.
Handoff Report:
Some confusions here. No handoff report is given to Sergeant Shawnee Shep.
8:47 p.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten reports back in to check on sekurity. Says stuff was melting with the freezer defrosting issue at home. Apologizes for the speedy exit previously.
Another Handoff Report:
From Officer Cheshire Kitten to Sergeant Shawnee Shep: I reported officially that everybody was having a good time. One squirrel nearly choked on a cracker, one dog brought hooch. Oh, and one kitten came to the PawPawty and I watched over her while she drank a smoothie. She's home safely now.
8:51 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee Shep reminds @IamZorro that anipals is always naked, so steaking isn't a problem. Only bad when noggity nekkid ladies do it.
9:59 p.m.@IamZorro pretends to be a noggity nekkid lady, removing furs and streaking. Proof (note: not for underage anipals!):
10:23 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee Shep, Officer Cheshire Kitten, and Cadet Buddy apprehend the streaking @IamZorro. He's covered with a towel and taken to a holding cell.
Sergeant Shawnee Shep issues official warning to @IamZorro regarding streaking. Anipals is o.k....but the recent incident is close to crossing a line (proof is in the previous report post).
Sekurity team agrees that the charge is impersonating a nekkid human. According to Sergeant Shawnee Shep, this offense is a missdeweener.
10:34 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee Shep signs off of sekurity dooty.
10:50 p.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten reminds @IamZorro of the new rules regarding PawPawty jail and paying bail to get out of jail. Click here for more info.
11:00 p.m.@IamZorro pays bail and is released from PawPawty jail by Officer Cheshire Kitten.
11:05 p.m.Cadet Buddy signs off sekurity dooty.
11:56 p.m.Captain Snickers reports for sekurity dooty.
Handoff Report:From Officer Cheshire Kitten to Captain Snickers:
We charged @IamZorro with impersonating a nekkid human. He was in jail for a while. His mom bailed him out.
I covered the empty shift, but at the beginning, Sergeant Shawnee and Cadet Buddy were here too. I'd like to recommend Cadet Buddy for promotion.
12:25 a.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten signs off sekurity dooty.
12:37 a.m.Sekurity Alert: everyone remember to check your new followers for spammers and bots during or after the PawPawty and block them.
1:27 a.m.Officer Morris reports early for sekurity dooty.
Handoff Report:
Keeping an eye on @mugsydog because he's been in the hooch.
Plus @SylvieDog is inciting a cookie riot. She announced she will marry boy with most cookies (riot proof:!
2:00 a.m.@mugsydog passes out! He'll stay where he is and Officer Morris will keep an eye on him. (
2:04 a.m.Captain Snickers signs off sekurity dooty. No changes since earlier handoff report.
2:27 a.m.Officer Morris asks @perrythebirman if he's just trying to get into the sekurity report. Proof:
2:31 a.m.@Health4UandPets defends @perrythebirman by claiming it was a wardrobe malfunction. Proof:
3:12 a.m.Photographic proof surfaces of the wardrobe malfunction: (Note: photo not for underage anipals!)
3:21 a.m.Officer Morris assists with covering up the wardrobe malfunction:
4:30 a.m.Officer Morris signs off of sekurity dooty. Note: no sekurity coverage now.
Non-handoff (nobody's here) report:
Nobody to hand off to, but there's been minimal trouble - a wardrobe malfunction with @perrythebirman and @Health4UandPets
I solved the problem and was, um, rewarded by Raven from @Health4UandPets.
7:18 a.m.Sekurity Alert from Officer Morris (still at the PawPawty, but not officially on dooty): An upsurge of nasty followers has been reported, remember to check your list, block & report for spam.
7:49 a.m.Cadets Frosty and Dew report early for sekurity dooty.
7:50 a.m.Report comes in from @tuttifruiti_cat of stoned, naked kitties running around. Cadets Frosty and Dew begin investigations.
8:07 a.m.Cadets Frosty and Dew realize that @tuttifruiti_cat is one of the stoned, naked kitties! Proof:
8:09 a.m.Cadets Frosty and Dew report that @tuttifruiti_cat is probably the leader of the stoned, naked kitties. (No denying this one:
8:20 a.m.Report comes in from @PepiSmartDog that he's getting spammed by nekkid ladies. Cadets Frosty and Dew block the nasty spammers.
8:22 a.m.Investigations continue of the Stoned Naked Kitty Brigade. It's looking like a large group.
8:42 a.m.Cadets Frosty and Dew report that they're making progress tracking down the Stoned Naked Kitty Brigade, but they're a sneaky bunch.
9:29 a.m.Cadets Frosty and Dew report: "we have had no luck locating the ring leader of The Stoned Naked Kitty Brigade. *thinks they are all passed out somewhere*"
10:00 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Be on your best behavior for the next two hours until Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo signs in for dooty. No sekurity coverage for the next two hours.
10:02 a.m.Cadets Frosty and Dew sign off of sekurity dooty. Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo will be at the party off and on during the empty shift, in case sekurity is needed.
12:02 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo officially signs in for sekurity dooty.
12:25 p.m.Cadet Buddy reports that he's being attacked by a nekkid lady spammer. Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo blocks the spammer and saves the day.
12:51 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo chases off nasty paparazzi! Only official photographers allowed for the wedding.
1:31 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo reports: "iz most beautiful wedding ever! so glad everyone is here to share in the joys!"
1:46 p.m.Report comes in from @no_crybaby_doGs that an anipal fainted in the back section after being overcome with happiness. Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo arrives on the scene with a stretcher to help. Officer Cheshire Kitten also responds to assist.
2:03 p.m.PawPawty officially concludes with no shenannigans during the beautiful wedding ceremony. Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo signs off of sekurity dooty.


Snick the Dog said...

that was grate sekurity report lexi-lou. i dont know how we could run sekurity team without such a good dokumnetashun officer! thank you.

flicka47 said...

I had forgotten all about those lawyers masquerading as Raccoons in suits that broke into the Pawpawty bar as the pawpawty was starting!!

They were trying to make it look like FergustheDog and PerrytheBirman had taken six bottles of pawpawty Tequila!!

Those sneaky lawyers!!!

Smokey said...

Dad was technical writer for 20 years. He read your report and said that you did very good job. If you ever need a job, he said he'd give you reference. (He's also glad to see that Ody didn't make it into report for fussing about having to potty during ceremony!)

CheshireK said...

Lexi-Lou you really captured the events of the day. Thanks for doing such good work!

Pandafur said...

Another grate sekurity report lexi-lou!