10 Things about Me

I read my friend Shawnee's blog today and saw that she passed on a passer-on thing to me! Here's the passer-on thing...it's this picture...

So what I'm supposed to do now is to write 10 things about myself. Shouldn't be too hard to do since I'm one of my favorite subjects...right up there with meat, of course.

1. I'll start with my family. It's Mom and I. I'm an only-child and she's an only-Mom. I like it this way, though, 'cause that means that I don't have to share her and she doesn't have to share me. I've got a really cool Grandma and Grandpa, too. (Grandma actually bought me my very own bag of Cheetos. She rocks!) I've got several dog cousins. Some people cousins, too. And aunts and uncles. My uncle Marty is mean, though. He "meows" at me and says "here, kitty kitty." He's a weenie.

2. I rode a motorcycle years ago. I did not enjoy it. Uncle Marty (the weenie referenced above) was supposed to pick me up from my grandparents' house and take me to my Mom. What did he do? He zipped me into his winter coat with him so that only my little head stuck out, right up by his chin. And then he drove me there on his motorcycle! I nearly peed on him. I was SO happy to see my mom. Uncle Marty thought he was funny. Mom was not amused.

3. Mom adopted me when I was two years old. I used to live with a different family and they had lots of people and lots of other animals. All the other dogs were really super mean to me, though. They ganged up on me all the time. I couldn't ever play with toys 'cause they took the toys away from me. I was underweight, too, 'cause the dogs never let me eat. All that changed when Mom adopted me, though. Now I rule the house! I still get pretty scared around other dogs. I don't want to be bullied like that ever again.

4. I pee like a boy. There, I said it. I like to sniff everything outside, and then I hike a leg and potty like a boy dog. I pee on trees. I'll even do hand-stands sometimes so that I can pee higher up on trees. It's a talent. It really confused Mom, though, until she got used to it. Now people think I'm a boy dog when we go for walks. Mom thinks it's funny.

5. I've got lots of ouchies and I'm supposed to take lots of pills and medicines. Here's my list of ouchies:

• dry eye -- mom makes me take eye drops twice a day
  
• arthritis -- got a pill for this one
  
• bad teeths -- vet stole 10 teeth already from me
• bladder stones -- got two horse-size pills for these each day. I've had surgery twice, too.
  
• liver failure (probably from a shunt) -- got a pill for this and some icky, sticky liquid medicine. Also have special doggie food that is rather yucky.
  

My vet says that I'm lucky that I'm so cute and that my Mom loves me so much. Isn't that just her job, though? He he he.

6. I love to write poetry. I've posted lots of it here on my blog. Mom helps me sometimes. One of my animal friends from Twitter called me the puppy paw-et laureate. I thought that was funny.

7. I'm scared of my food bowl. I won't eat food out of a bowl or off of a plate of any sort. I make Mom put my food on a food mat on the floor. And she tried to switch the food mat once but I would have nothing to do with that new impostor. She had to bring the old mat back before I'd go near my food.

8. I've got my own TV. (I bet you're jealous now!) I watch QVC on my very own TV all day long while Mom's at work. It's a little TV, but it's the perfect size for me. Mom put it right by my office door (my office is my crate, of course). Perfect viewing location for me. Sadly, my TV is starting to get funky, though, 'cause it's old. The colors don't really look right anymore. Mom said Grandma is going to give me her old TV, though, so that I have a better one to watch. I told you my Grandma rocks!

9. My favorite song is the Cookie Monster song. That's 'cause I'm a cookie-eating maniac. I love cookies! I don't know why Mom bothers giving me nasty dog food. She should just give me cookies! I get all excited when Mom sings the Cookie Monster song to me because she usually follows it up with cookies. All she has to do is start to say "'C' is for..." and I go crazy!

10. I am an expert at begging. I get SO much stuff just because I can really put on a cute face. It helps, of course, that I'm so adorable to begin with. I've discovered that it's pretty easy to con Mom out of all sorts of food. I just have to give her that "I'm so cute" look and she melts every time. She won't give me tons of people food because she claims I'm supposed to only eat my stupid prescription doggie food. I'm still working on that...

Ta dah! There's the 10 things about me that I was supposed to write. And now I'm supposed to pass the passer-on thing to more animal friends. Hrm. It looks like most of my friends have already done it, though, so I'm not sure who to pass it on to. Anybody want to take the passer-on thing?