Stupid Leafs

Mom loves this time of year 'cause the weather is cooler and the trees are all colorful. She thinks they're so pretty.

I disagree.

I'm all about that "cooler weather" thing, but the stupid trees get on my nerves. You know why? 'Cause they won't keep their stupid leafs on their branches! I hate those leafs! The leafs crunch on my paws and that ain't cool. They stick to me and they're slippery when they're wet. The worse thing by far, though, is when they torpedo at me in the parking lot. I'll be walking along, minding my own business, and then I'm suddenly attacked by leaves flying at me! It's pretty scary. Not at all fun.

So, trees, I'm putting you on notice. Hold onto your stupid leafs!

This is a tree by our house. Mom says, "Oh, so pretty!"

I say, "My nemesis!"

Can you see me sticking my tongue out at the leafs? I was being subtle.
The one really good way to get back at the leafs for attacking me is a bit unladylike. I pee on 'em! Mom almost caught me in the act here. I was looking for a good leaf to take my anger out on.

I Hate Leaves

My Mom absolutely loves the fall because of the cooler temperatures and the pretty colors. I won't argue about the temperatures -- summer is just TOO hot for me. I can't see many of those colors she's always talking about, though. The tops of those trees are pretty high up there, and I've got some short little legs. By the time the leaves are on my level, they're crunchy and brown.

I know that "hate" is a pretty strong word, but I think it accurately describes my feelings towards leaves. I know I've complained about them before, too. But here's an official list on why I don't like leaves...maybe you'll see where I'm coming from...

1. They're crunchy and scratchy under my little paws.
2. The crunching sound scares me sometimes, especially when someone else steps on them near me.
3. I can't feel the ground when I walk through them.
4. I can't figure out what's under the leaves. I might be missing something that I need to check out.
5. They're impossible to sniff through.
6. They're just in the way. I'm a busy doggie and I don't need the additional challenge.
7. They get stuck in the fur on my face when I try to sniff stuff on the ground.
8. They get stuck in my floppy ears when I try to sniff stuff on the ground.
9. They get stuck in the fur on my little legs when I have to walk through them.
10. Sometimes they hurt when they get stuck like that. Mom has to help pull them off of me.
11. Sometimes Mom thinks I look funny when I have leaves stuck to me. How rude.
12. When they're wet, they stick to me in even more places.
13. When I try to pee on something, the leaves get in the way and block my target.
14. If I do pee on them near my target, they just blow away. Thus, I can't leave my mark where I want to.
15. When I get near a leaf that another doggie has peed on, I end up getting the pee-pee on me. That ain't cool.
16. The rattling sound scares me when they blow in the wind.
17. I can't figure out where the rattling is actually coming from, so I have to be on guard more than usual.
18. And when it's windy...PROJECTILE LEAF MISSILES! I swear they all aim right for me.

That's a good start for my list. I wish someone around here would rake...