10 Things about Me

I read my friend Shawnee's blog today and saw that she passed on a passer-on thing to me! Here's the passer-on thing...it's this picture...

So what I'm supposed to do now is to write 10 things about myself. Shouldn't be too hard to do since I'm one of my favorite subjects...right up there with meat, of course.

1. I'll start with my family. It's Mom and I. I'm an only-child and she's an only-Mom. I like it this way, though, 'cause that means that I don't have to share her and she doesn't have to share me. I've got a really cool Grandma and Grandpa, too. (Grandma actually bought me my very own bag of Cheetos. She rocks!) I've got several dog cousins. Some people cousins, too. And aunts and uncles. My uncle Marty is mean, though. He "meows" at me and says "here, kitty kitty." He's a weenie.

2. I rode a motorcycle years ago. I did not enjoy it. Uncle Marty (the weenie referenced above) was supposed to pick me up from my grandparents' house and take me to my Mom. What did he do? He zipped me into his winter coat with him so that only my little head stuck out, right up by his chin. And then he drove me there on his motorcycle! I nearly peed on him. I was SO happy to see my mom. Uncle Marty thought he was funny. Mom was not amused.

3. Mom adopted me when I was two years old. I used to live with a different family and they had lots of people and lots of other animals. All the other dogs were really super mean to me, though. They ganged up on me all the time. I couldn't ever play with toys 'cause they took the toys away from me. I was underweight, too, 'cause the dogs never let me eat. All that changed when Mom adopted me, though. Now I rule the house! I still get pretty scared around other dogs. I don't want to be bullied like that ever again.

4. I pee like a boy. There, I said it. I like to sniff everything outside, and then I hike a leg and potty like a boy dog. I pee on trees. I'll even do hand-stands sometimes so that I can pee higher up on trees. It's a talent. It really confused Mom, though, until she got used to it. Now people think I'm a boy dog when we go for walks. Mom thinks it's funny.

5. I've got lots of ouchies and I'm supposed to take lots of pills and medicines. Here's my list of ouchies:

• dry eye -- mom makes me take eye drops twice a day
  
• arthritis -- got a pill for this one
  
• bad teeths -- vet stole 10 teeth already from me
• bladder stones -- got two horse-size pills for these each day. I've had surgery twice, too.
  
• liver failure (probably from a shunt) -- got a pill for this and some icky, sticky liquid medicine. Also have special doggie food that is rather yucky.
  

My vet says that I'm lucky that I'm so cute and that my Mom loves me so much. Isn't that just her job, though? He he he.

6. I love to write poetry. I've posted lots of it here on my blog. Mom helps me sometimes. One of my animal friends from Twitter called me the puppy paw-et laureate. I thought that was funny.

7. I'm scared of my food bowl. I won't eat food out of a bowl or off of a plate of any sort. I make Mom put my food on a food mat on the floor. And she tried to switch the food mat once but I would have nothing to do with that new impostor. She had to bring the old mat back before I'd go near my food.

8. I've got my own TV. (I bet you're jealous now!) I watch QVC on my very own TV all day long while Mom's at work. It's a little TV, but it's the perfect size for me. Mom put it right by my office door (my office is my crate, of course). Perfect viewing location for me. Sadly, my TV is starting to get funky, though, 'cause it's old. The colors don't really look right anymore. Mom said Grandma is going to give me her old TV, though, so that I have a better one to watch. I told you my Grandma rocks!

9. My favorite song is the Cookie Monster song. That's 'cause I'm a cookie-eating maniac. I love cookies! I don't know why Mom bothers giving me nasty dog food. She should just give me cookies! I get all excited when Mom sings the Cookie Monster song to me because she usually follows it up with cookies. All she has to do is start to say "'C' is for..." and I go crazy!

10. I am an expert at begging. I get SO much stuff just because I can really put on a cute face. It helps, of course, that I'm so adorable to begin with. I've discovered that it's pretty easy to con Mom out of all sorts of food. I just have to give her that "I'm so cute" look and she melts every time. She won't give me tons of people food because she claims I'm supposed to only eat my stupid prescription doggie food. I'm still working on that...

Ta dah! There's the 10 things about me that I was supposed to write. And now I'm supposed to pass the passer-on thing to more animal friends. Hrm. It looks like most of my friends have already done it, though, so I'm not sure who to pass it on to. Anybody want to take the passer-on thing?

Chicken Stuff

Mom started giving me some FreshPet chicken stuff last week. It is super-duper yummy, too. She found out about it from my friend Shawnee on Twitter.

Mom usually gives me some of the chicken stuff in the morning and some at night. Tonight, I was afraid she was going to forget to give me some, so I started bugging her about it. I growled at her and pawed at her until she finally figured out that it was time for my chicken stuff! I'm glad I didn't have to take any measures more drastic than that. I tried to get her to give me more chicken stuff after I ate the first round but she refused. She told me to eat my stupid doggie food. Can't blame me for trying!

You know, it's weird that Mom's not trying to give me all of those pills she used to give me. Used to be I'd have some in the morning and some at night -- right around the same times as when I get the chicken stuff now. Very strange. Maybe I just don't need those pills anymore!

Wait...you don't think she's hiding the pills in the chicken stuff, do you?

Scouting Report

I've scouted the place, and here's the situation...

• Kitchen: No food accidentally dropped on the floor.
• Living room: No crumbs by the couch.
• Front door: No food discovered, but a good smelly spot from a bag of garbage (Mom hasn't noticed it yet).
• Bedroom: No leftover cookies from last night. Even looked under the doggie bed.
• My crate: No leftover cookies from this morning.
• Food mat: No canned doggie food left. Only nasty, dry stuff.

Hmmm. I was already so hungry that I ate the pills I refused to eat earlier (covered with the chicken stuff that Mom uses when she thinks she's tricking me...yeah right...).

I guess I need to beg for some people food or try to get Mom to give me more canned food or something...

I'm refusing to eat that nasty, dry doggie food.

Oopsie...

Last night Mom was on the floor with me, givin' me some good petting and loving. She started scratching my ears (ain't nothing better!) and her face was right down by my little face. She was talking to me and we were practically nose to nose. You know what I did? I burped. And I had just eated some of my canned doggie food, too, so it was a good puppy burp.

I thought it was SO funny. Mom was not amused.

Oops.

Dry Doggie Food

Tonight I decided to take a walk on the wild side and I ate some of my dry doggie food. That stuff just sits there on my food mat all of the time. I always refuse to touch it. See...Mom gives me some doggie food from a can, and I like that better, so I never eat the dry stuff. I just make Mom give me more canned food when I'm hungry. Got her well trained!

But tonight I got a little adventurous, and a bit too hungry, and I eated the dry stuff. You should have seen the look on Mom's face! She was SO surprised. She even got me more of the dry stuff out. She was so happy that I ate the first bit that I just decided to eat the new pieces of dry food, too.

Tomorrow I'll just be eatin' my canned stuff again, though. Don't want to make a habit of the icky, dry food or Mom won't keep getting the canned food for me!

Birthday Idea

My birthday is tomorrow and I'm gonna be 9 years old. Cool, huh? So if anyone wants ideas for birthday gifts for me, here's one: I want hamburger. Mom won't give it to me anymore, and I think hamburger rocks. Hot dogs are cool, too. he he he

Hunger Strike, Day 4

I'm starving. I don't know why Mom won't just give me hamburger again. Stupid doggie food. I've been forced to eat a little each night, but not much. Just enough to get me through. I'm hungry and I want hamburger!

Oh -- Mom went to the people groomer today, I think. She had that smell. I had to sniff her head when she got home tonight. That's how I can tell. I wonder if she got in trouble for barking like I did at my groomer...

Story of My Life: Peeing in a Cup

Mom chased me around outside with another stupid cup this morning. I really don't understand why the doggie doctor wants my pee-pee like that. It makes no sense!

Mom said that the vet was really happy about my pee-pee this time, though. All of the bacteria buggies are gone, so no more icky antibiotics! That's good.

Oh...And I'm still refusing to eat my doggie food. The hunger strike continues! Tonight, I made Mom hand-feed me some of it. That's the only way I'd eat at all. I wouldn't eat it off of the doggie food mat. I want hamburger! Give me hamburger!

Hunger Strike, Day 2

I'm starving. I refuse to eat that stupid, gross doggie food. I broke down last night and ate a little bit of it. Nothing today, though. I'm staying strong! Didn't have a lot of energy today, so I refused to walk when Mom took me outside.

I'm hoping that Mom will see how hungry I am and bring back the hamburger. That stuff is so much better than the gross doggie food...

Stupid Dog Food!

I don't know what's wrong with Mom tonight, but she's refusing to give me hamburger! She expects me to eat that stupid, nasty old doggie food! I hate that stuff. I want my hamburger back. I wonder if I need to act really sick again to get her to give me more hamburger. Something has to change here...that doggie food is gross and I'm hungry!

Yummy in My Tummy

Mom's friend Karen came over again last night and she brought a CHEESEBURGER! Mom couldn't figure out why I didn't want to go potty outside. I hadn't been outside since the morning. Doesn't take a rocket scientist, though -- the cheeseburger was inside! I sat and stared at Karen and her cheeseburger until she gave me a little piece of it. YUM. I was trying to get more when Mom rudely came over and picked me up and made me go outside to potty. I tried to hurry outside (refused to go for a walk), but the cheeseburger was gone when I came back inside. What a bummer!

Mom gave me some Cheetos later in the evening. That was pretty cool, too. I love Cheetos. Cheeseburgers are still much, much yummier...but those Cheetos were better than eating my doggie food!

Dog Food Stinks!

Instead of giving me more hamburger tonight, Mom actually gave me my nasty old dog food instead. WHAT happened here?!?! I'm supposed to be eating the yummy hamburger...I don't want that gross, liver-prescription dog food! Give me my hamburger!

Bring Back My Old Food

Mom decided to change my doggie food. I was doing just fine on the old food and it was yummy in my tummy. But she said something about the new food being better for my ouchy liver and that Dr. Rebecca said I needed to eat this stuff instead.

This new food sucks, though. It's just nasty, nasty, nasty. I'm refusing to eat it. Instead, I've been eating the old kind of crunchy food that Mom left out. I'd rather eat that dry junk than the new canned food. That'll tell you just how desperate I am right now! I've also been scavaging around our house, looking for anything Mom might have accidently dropped. I've even been licking the carpet...but that's mainly 'cause I know it bugs Mom.

Bring back my old food!!!

I'm Putting Myself Up for Adoption

I'm SO TICKED at Mom right now. You wouldn't believe what she's done to me lately. It's just absurd. She's so mean!

She's giving me this other doggie food that's not my normal doggie food. It was o.k. at first, but I want my old food back. And then she's putting this dry, powdery crap on top of the food. That's just nasty! It makes it all dry and crunchy and just gross.

Then, just to add insult to injury, she's been prying my mouth open and squirting this other nasty crap down my throat!!! I just couldn't believe it when she started doing that. I was shocked...she's not usually this mean to me.

This morning, she ruined my doggie food, squirted that stuff in my mouth, and THEN she poured those drops in my eyes. I had had enough!!! I left her in the living room and just went to my office. She was NOT going to mess with me anymore!

What happened to my Mom?! If she keeps this up, I'm looking for a new house...

Breakfast in Bed

A long time ago my Mom got smart and put a water bowl in the bedroom for me. I like having choices about where to get a drink.

Guess what she did tonight...she let me eat supper in the bedroom, too! She said it was 'cause I didn't eat all of my food and she didn't want it to go to waste. So she brought the food mat in and put it by my water bowl and my bed. It was so cool to be eating in here that I gobbled that food right up.

This rocks. I've almost got her completely trained!

What I Learned Today

I came upon a wonderful realization today...

• Mom wants me to take my antibiotic so my bladder infection will go away.
• I have to have food in my tummy before Mom gives me the pill.

So, if I hold out and don't eat any of my doggie food, Mom will break down and make me some RICE! I love that stuff. It's my favorite thing. Usually I'm a meat sort of girl, but that rice stuff is the tops in my book.

Mom had to make me some rice twice today. he he he. I've got a good system going. I plan to keep this up for as long as she's making me take those stupid pills.

Poor, Sick Pooch

Wonder why I've been quiet lately? I've been sick. Mom even made me go to that VET again! She was worried that I had more icky bladder stones 'cause I was having accidents in my crate. Dr. Rebecca said it was just a bladder infection, but they made me have tests done to be sure. I really don't like the vet...even though they're nice there and they love doggies. But no doggie likes to be poked and prodded!

So I've got some pills that I need to take for a while. Mom tries to hide them in my doggie food. She actually thinks that I don't know they're there, if you can believe that. I'm not an idiot.

I went to the doggie spa last week, so I'm really super cute right now, too. When you don't feel good, it helps a little to know that you're still adorable. Mom had the groomer trim my ears so that they don't flop in my water bowl so much. That made me even cuter!

I Got in Trouble...

Sorry I haven't been able to post in a while. I was grounded, and Mom wouldn't let me use the computer.

We had a little disagreement last week. Mom said she needed to go back to work, but I wanted her to stay home with me. So I decided to let her know just how upset at her I was...by peeing in my crate every day. On Friday, I even rolled around in it a bit, just so that I smelled "great" for Mom. Boy, was she mad!

She grounded me. We also had a discussion about how she needs to go to work so that we have money to buy doggie food and doggie toys. I suppose she has a point there. I decided I'd better shape up and just get used to being back in my office during the day. I haven't pottied inside again. (She made me take a bath on Friday after I rolled in the messy crate -- I really HATE baths!)

It stinks that she's at work again, though. I really liked spending all of my time with her when she was home sick for the last few months. I even got to nap on the couch with her every day. Oh, well. I suppose that having money for doggie food is more important...

Stupid Dry Dog Food

Mom keeps trying to get me to eat that dry, crunchy crap that she bought. I'd much rather have the canned food, though. You know what she actually did this evening? She mixed my canned food up with that dry junk! So, I showed her. I picked up a piece of the dry food, walked over to her, and spit it out by her foot! Ha! She should know better than to mess with me...

I Got New Kongs!

I think Mom went to PetSmart today...'cause I got new Kongs! I have two brand new ones now and one that's a little old. I love the new ones--especially when Mom fills 'em with my canned doggie food! Those things are like Chuck 'E Cheese for doggies. I get to eat yummy stuff and I get to play, too. Very cool! Mom took some pictures because I was so excited.